Pain Without Gain

Pain Without Gain

Since I write so much

does this make me a writer?

No more than having a gun in my hand

makes me a gun fighter.

Just like when the sun comes out,

it doesn’t make my life brighter.

The truth, I don’t know what I am

or what I have become.

I don’t know where I am

or just where I traveled from.

I don’t know if I’m intelligent

or if I’m just plain dumb.

I don’t know if I’m feeling pain

or if it’s tingling from being numb.

I wish I knew what people meant

when they say it will be ok.

I wish I had a little trust,

I wish I could be content all day.

I wish I had a girl with me

that always knew what to say.

I wish people could see inside my brain.

That way these assholes

could see all of my pain.

That way they would know

just how bad of a strain,

It is to live my life,

without any type of gain.