It's time to go, young lady.

 Mandy,

I'm sending this out into the void for you.  I don't know if you're still here...  I'm too far from your path to call you here, you wouldn't like it here anyway.  You really wouldn't like the people in this town, it would remind you of the place you were born.  I told you if you ever needed to feel safe you would know where to find me, that if you needed a safe place to rest you could always find me...  I stepped away and I wasn't there when you needed me and for that, and for that I am eternally sorry.  I'm creating a place for you, a place that you can stay and I can keep you safe while you rest and decide where you would like to be.  I know you had no rest in that last run you had, and if I'm correct in this feeling, you are still not at rest.  I not going to be able to call for you, you're going to have to look for it.  I have the red rock that you liked to carry so much, That is what you have to find.  It will be in your new space, along with a picture of us and some other odds and ends to keep you comfy and safe.  You may be upset, and I can understand why, but remember this new space is made of glass...  What do we not do in glass houses, young lady?  That's right, throw rocks...  It's over now, let's process it and move on.  If there are scores to settle with anyone besides me we can discuss them and act according to my rules.  There is nothing binding you there any longer, all watching have left, we are all that remain.  Let me finally get you out of there, I'll take care of you now; like I should have when you were here.

-Shepard

Losing Sleep

Losing Sleep

Thought I found my goal, now I’m confused again

Feels like I’m trying to lose, I don’t feel I can win

I’m not down in the dumps, I’m not even feeling low

I think all the alcohol got to me, and these drugs made me slow

I thought I was going crazy, turns out I was just getting fried

Feels like I have destroyed myself, and my soul has died

I don’t know what to believe, I’m confused on why to try

I feel like m mom is the only one who would care if I were to die

I get no love from these people I’ve met in my time

I’ve got no one to confide in, I only have my rhyme

See I love my mom, I’m sure she loves me too

But who else gives a damn, some one tell me who

Yeah I got real friends, and they are down for whatever

But you have to remember that my friends change like the weather

There is the inner circle, we will call them the chosen few

But it feels like there different, they don’t know what I’m going through

I’m trying to start my life, while they keep living my past

Feels like my life is a movie, and I need to fire the entire cast

I’ve placed myself in every position I’ve been in so far

From selling dope, one night stands, and getting drunk in my car

I feel my emotions going down as I write these lines

I see myself being broke trying to pay these fines

All my rights stripped away for drinking and driving

I’ve got a few guns around me, thinking about not surviving

How did my brother turn out so good, and I turn out so bad

Why didn’t I take advantage of all the options I’ve had

Instead I piddled and played, and smoked weed all day

I let my life just crumble, and let all my dreams stray

Yes this is all my fault, I can’t spread the blame

I’m tired of blaming other people, I’ve chose to quit that game

Well don’t beat yourself up is what people like to say

Wish they could get in my mind, they would be dead in a day

Sure other people have their problems, some so much worse

But my mind is so intelligent, I’ve hit myself with a curse

I look back and I can see what I’ve done to myself

I can even feel myself putting God on the shelf

Just My Luck

Just My Luck

So I’m always stuck in situations I create

I’m always the reason, I’m that twist in fate

I’m the crazy fool with that look in my eyes that will make you contemplate

You may think you know me, you might even know all the things I say

I might have sold you a sack, you might even see me everyday

You may even think I am the devil and was put here to make you pray

As long as I can remember I’ve always been a lucky kind of guy

Because everyday so far I have woken up to a new sky

I was lucky enough never to catch a stray bullet and die

All the time I’ve been roaming the earth looking through this land

I’ve been looking for my spot and the times I need to take a stand

But now I am getting to worry about the rest of the hourglass’s sand

I’ve have piddled around too long I have idled too many years

I’ve just been getting high and drinking too many beers

And I have too many situations to think about that just bring on those tears

Crashing down on top of me is my own reality

I’m slowly opening my eyes trying to comprehend what I see

My future is coming into focus and I’m scared of what I will be

Position

Position

I know it’s the same but it feels different than before

I have to let her go, but all I want is more

See we are too different and the timing was all wrong

And it hurts me so much to be writing this song

You see the girl came to me at a very complex time

She came right after I lost my rhythm and my rhyme

She was my age but her mind was too young

But I have love for this girl that I can’t describe with my tongue

Looking below I see more than her face

And I can always rely on her attitude to put me in my place

Feeding Addiction

Feeding Addiction

Well it seems that I’m running short on time

I don’t know why I’m dreading it

I use to live by separation

Now it seems like I’m being forced into another nation

A new language to learn, new people to avoid

And a whole lot of time to reflect on the life I destroyed

Seems like this stuff is doing more bad than good

Everyone knows I regret it and I would take it back if I could

But that can’t happen, take responsibility for what you are doing

But it seems that if all I do is good everyone is still booing

People threatening my life for taking their girlfriend

I’m scared that if my life is cut short that hell will be at the end

Because when I get drunk I get crazy, and when I’m crazy I get ill

And I don’t need a résumé for fighting, anyone will fit the bill

It’s nearing the Fourth of July and I’m hearing fire in the sky

The explosions have me gripping my handgun and I don’t even know why

But I’m trying to change my life, I’m trying to turn it around

And I’ll be damned if I’m the one left feeling ashamed and clowned

But that’s what I need to stay away from, that arrogant attitude

It seems that it’s an entirely different attitude that needs to be pursued

I’m trying my hardest, I even quit smoking weed

But now I drink like a fish, I just have something to feed

And the harder I try, the more things just seem to fall apart

I have an evil mind, but I got a lot of love in my heart

I am the yin and yang, I’m the perfect example

So come one and all, upon Kyle let’s trample

Born in Paducah, and then moved out to Murray

Then moved back to Paducah, and then out to Tennessee

Now I’m back in Paducah because of some charges that were pressed

Let’s just say in Tennessee I did less than my best

Hope Through Love

Hope Through Love

Here I am confused as always

There I go, through some more days

There she is, lost in the cold

No one to love, it is getting old

She finds me, I’m feeling the same

Two lost souls, in this there is no shame

We are united, but we are still lost

Tell me why I have to pay the cost

Tell me why I always feel so lost

I don’t know why it moves so fast

But I always know it cannot last

Maybe because I feel all this pain

What ever did I think that I could gain

Through this girl that I found

Now screams are the sound

That I hear in my head

Because the love that I found is now dead

Letter To A Friend

Letter To A Friend

Once again I have created an inescapable demise

My boy is staring at the ceiling while I am staring at the skies

My heart aches because of something that happened in the past

Simply because some girl stumbled into our three man cast

I’m asking for mercy but what I really wish for is peace

I know what I did was dirty, but the confusion needs to cease

I got two friends in this world and that’s Jon and Jason

Now Jay’s locked up again and my stupidity has me pacing

I think it’s time to change, Jason, I think you feel it’s a fact

It’s time to grow up and pretend like we know how to act

The pills got you and Jon, the alcohol got me

If we keep up this lifestyle, we will never be free

The time has come to change, this is where the shit hits the fan

It’s like giving up the arcade, and playing kick the can

It’s time to get out of this darkness and step into the light

It’s time to quit giving in, and start to try to fight

Are you listening to me Jay? Am I getting through your skull?

We all have sharp tools, but we are choosing to be dull

I’m too old for this drama, maybe you are too young to care

But I can’t sit back and just watch, it just wouldn’t be fair